Unidentifiable time and space
Hands and feet that seem to float in midair
Communion between reason and instinct
Drift into deep chaos then return again
Here I sat staring at the stained glass windows of the small church, back stiff as the headmaster gives his speech. High school graduation, did we even have one of those? I'm pretty sure all we had was a "last day". Man, how I thought my future was so bright. Oh to leave home and go on my own adventures! How excited was I. How hopeful was I. How naive was I! I signed and eyed the colourful image of Jesus bitterly.
"...and what's the point of education if it can't prepare you for life?" The suited man declares passionately and I almost wanted to laugh. The truth is, sir, wise as you are, I'm sure you are aware that nothing will or can prepare you for life.
.
A place I don’t know, in a place that I can’t reach
Is my abandoned spirit
The wind blows sharply, making me crash
The wind blows sharply, making me crash
I stumble with a thud as I show my faults
And I’m trampled into the ground
In just nine months of diving into adulthood (face first), I somehow managed to gain a bunch of stuff but professionalism. A sour-ass attitude, familiar roads that I now dread going down, much loved songs that turned unpleasant, an usually knotted stomach and occasional shakes in my hands, what else?
Snapped out of my thoughts by loud clapping I placed my attention back to the ceremony, my cousin had just received an award, and from the ceremony booklet given out I knew he had one more to collect at the end.
.
The truth became fiction, I’m lying as expected
Put makeup on my inner thoughts, so my sadness doesn’t smear
Don’t confuse the ideal with real
Lost my way inside a whirlpool, feeling empty in my chest
Don’t confuse the ideal with real
Lost my way inside a whirlpool, feeling empty in my chest
I searched in my head for memories from the past, of happiness and my carefree self. I wanted to be anywhere but the state I am at. But no matter how hard I tried I feel nothing but dread. I felt childish then, and I remember thinking how people were weak to be beaten down so easily, how I would look on disapprovingly and think I could have endured if I were them.
.
Is this rock coated in mud, a pearl
Who is going to tell you, don’t be so sad
In order to be reborn,
I’m dying right now
Who is going to tell you, don’t be so sad
In order to be reborn,
I’m dying right now
-Dead Leaves
